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Moving Forward Despite

“I’m not asking you to forgive and forget your grievance’s.” She said, and though her tone was soft, it did nothing to calm her companion. If the sound of his grinding teeth and the taunt line of his shoulders were any indication.

“I’m asking if they matter more than those moments of happiness. Those sweet memories, those bursts of love and warmth — do they not matter? Did they not impact you?” Her companion remained silent, though she did not know if it was because he had nothing to say — of if he thought he’d spew fire and acid if he opened his mouth.

“You are asking me –” He cut himself off, swallowing hard and shaking his head. “How can you understand?” He asked instead, scolding eyes still staring straight ahead. “How can you ask me to just — let it go. They don’t deserve forgiveness for what they’ve done.” He growled, fists clenched at his side. “They don’t deserve my forgiveness.”

“I never said you had to forgive them.” She soothed, continuing to watch his expression, refusing to look away from him, forcing herself to remain relaxed, unthreatening. It had always worked before. “I am simply asking if this anger is worth holding onto?” She said. “I am asking if you are willing to hold onto this weight, when it would be so much better for you to let go, and move on.”

Her companion shivered as she lay one hand gently upon his shoulder. The muscle underneath twitched, but he did not pull away. She wasn’t sure if he could, coiled so tightly. She watched his jaw work, watched his lips open and close in hot, angry huffs. He shook his head, whether in response to her or his own swirling thoughts, she didn’t know.

“How much is it worth to keep this anger?” She asked, lowering her hand to rest atop his white-knuckled fist. “Are you willing to let them chain you down like this? Are you willing to let this hurt drag you down every time you reach for happiness?” She waited, refusing to tense, to demand he hurry up — she had no right. She was his best friend, his confidant, but she could only have what he was willing to share with her.

“..No.” He murmured after a moment, dropping his head against her shoulder. She smiled as his fist uncurled, and wrapped her hands around his trembling fingers. “I still don’t forgive them.” He muttered against her shoulder.

“You don’t have too.” She said into his scalp. “There’s nothing wrong with being upset. It only matters that you don’t let that negativity drag you down.” He shuddered, curling his hand around one of hers. “The only thing that matters is how you chose to move forward with that hurt.”

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